Now that NBA players left and right are signing contracts to play in Europe during the lockout (to make money - oops - I mean keep in shape), I've chosen a few places where I think these players would have the greatest impact on world issues and current affairs:
At least in Tanzania, you can buy a kilo of rice for about 50 cents. I'm no mathematician, but if the NBA really "Cares" and you're not getting paid anyways, LeBron James can save a lot of lives and win over some disgruntled Cleveland fans by donating some of his $14.5 million salary he made this past season. (For the record $1M could buy 2,000,000 kilos of rice.)
With the past riots and the beloved failure of my SAW programme, I think someone like Ron Artest - ahem - Metta World Peace - could really send his message of peace, love, and rehabilitation to the disenfranchised youth. Just a few years ago he was causing riots in the stands and now he's changed his name. If MWP can't do it, no one can.
Basketball is already pretty popular in the Middle East and North Africa, so why not get your name out there and broker peace like what Didier Drogba did for his native Cote D'Ivoire? Young people care more about sport idols than they do for old senile archaic politicians. Next time someone decides to have a "Decision" on live TV, how about making it more than where you're going to bounce your balls around to make a bazillion dollars.
The NBA wants further expansion in Europe. Start with Norway. After seeing disengaged UK youth, we've already forgotten about the senseless mass killing of Norwegian young future leaders not even a month ago. Dirk and Tony, Norway ain't that far from Germany and France.
For all these guys that preach Obama and how proud they were when he was elected, how about you send him out a lifesaver for the 2012 election? Hey Kobe and Dwight, who did y'all vote for?