Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Double Down & Double Up Your Waistline

If you haven't heard, Black people (and some White people for that matter) love chicken.  If you also hadn't heard, the vast majority of Barbadians or Bajans are Black.  Thus with that piece of LSAT logic, I can rightfully deduce that Barbados loves chicken.

For those of you that have never been to Barbados, fast food chicken is king.  Imagine Tim Hortons served coagulated cardiac arrest instead of liquid cocaine?  That's what Chefette is to Bajans.

And what's greater than a Chefette grease trap hiding as a snack box with a big ol' side of sugar water with bubbles and food colouring?  (For the record and for those health conscious folks, broasted chicken at Chefette is broasted in zero trans fat.  Yes, broasted.  How many people minus cardiac surgeons have even heard of the word?)

But back to the finger licking good point at hand.  What is better than eating a broasted breast as the highlight of your meal?  Wrapping both your hands around two broasted breasts smothered around bacon and cheese.  

KFC's Double Down:


Double Down meet Barbados.  Barbados meet Double Down.  KFC meet massive profits.  Barbados meet clogged arteries.

One DD (Daring Death) sandwich has 540 calories, 32g of fat, and 1380mg of sodium.  For most people those numbers mean absolutely nothing.  But when you compare that the recommended average daily sodium intake is 1500mg for people aged 9-50, you start to understand that the Double Downing could actually kill you.

This is not a public service announcement, and yes, I who climbed all the way to the top of Mount Kill-A-Man-Jaro was not able to finish one single DD sandwich.  I admit it.  Eating one of those sandwiches was like drinking a litre of sea water that was marinated in the ocean.  I think the only thing saltier would be if someone invented a new brand of salt that was saltier than salt itself.

If you're a high school student or that 99% that's occupying cities all over the world because you don't have a job here's a suggestion: go to med school and become a cardiologist.  Barbados will need plenty in the near future.

6 comments:

  1. How many BDS will that baby set you back?

    And what will Chefette do to one-up it?
    Dare I suggest a double decker double down?

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  2. Good question about the cost. I'd assume in the 10-20 dollar range.

    Chefette has a serious monopoly over the whole island. It's like Second Cup vs Tim Hortons.

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  3. With a drink it costs about $15 Barbados dollars. That's about 7.50 Canadian.

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  4. I am not sure how this article pertains to a grease trap or why those words are even evoked here! Darn you google, you got me lost again!

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  5. OMG I LUV THE DOUBLE DOWN. THEY ARE ALLL I EAT. I HAVE LIKE 20 A DAY. THEY AREN'T EVEN UNHEALTHY. I ONLY WEIGH 3000 POUNDS.

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