Tuesday, May 8, 2012

My Mother's Day Top Ten

Last year I decided to do a Father's Day Top Ten, now it's time for the best mothers of all time to be recognized and appreciated on this blog.

Feel free to post suggestions of mothers I may have missed in the comments section.

Octomon


I don't know what your mother's belly looked like when she was carrying your 8 pound 9 ounce head, but you gotta give some kind of props to Nadya Suleman, right?  She may be crazy with 14 kids, bankrupt, and wants to do a solo porn film, but she's still a single mom.

Marge Simpson


She's yellow, with a blue cylinder afro, and married to Homer Simpson with some bad ass children.  And, she hasn't aged in 20+ years.  Hats off to you, Marge.

Beyonce


Whether you believe the most beautiful women in the world (I argue against that claim) actually had a baby or not (I still can't believe she had sexual intercourse with the Shabba Ranks look-a-like), you gotta say she still looks pretty darn good.  And if you have the confidence to name your kid after a crayon and a poisonous plant, I gotta respect that too.

Lauren London


I won't lie, I had a big crush on Miss London (the woman next to the Boogie Man in the above photo) after watching ATL.  Then I found out that Lil Wayne got her pregnant.  That wasn't the blow for me, it was the fact that he got another woman pregnant around the exact same time.  But after reading this brief interview, I have a lot of respect for Lauren and all of the Crypt Keeper's baby mothers.

Queen Elizabeth II


Ya, her position now may not have the power that it used to, but is your mother's face imprinted on the side of a coin?  Didn't think so.  She's got some messed up children, but I highly doubt she raised them, so I blame the royal wet nurses and nannies for that slip up (sorry Charles).

Michelle Obama


Who would've thought back in high school that Michelle "Big Brows" Robinson would become the most powerful Black mother in the world?

Cersei Lannister


Cersei from Game of Thrones is one interesting mother.  She was married to the King, and after his death (she killed him in a roundabout way), her son became heir to the throne.  The catch is it wasn't the King and her kid, but her and her brother's.  Yes, she and her brother had a baby that now rules the world.  (For those who know anything about royal history, incest wasn't uncommon.)

Halle Berry


I wonder: If I were to take a poll of 100 men, how many would consider incest immoral, disgusting, and wrong, if Halle Berry was their mother?  I wonder.

Britney Spears


Ya, she legally can't make decisions for herself, but hey, she and her children are rich. 

Gloria James


So you're 16 and wondering how you should invest in your future.  Everyone around you is saying go to school, study hard, and one day you'll become the next Michelle Obama.  Or, you look at someone like Gloria James and countless other teenage mothers that gave birth to athletic superstars.  There's only one Michelle, and how many dudes do you think in the NBA and NFL have single mothers?  You've got better odds rolling that dice and being on MTV's 16 and Pregnant than breastfeeding in the White House.  Sad, but true.

3 comments:

  1. Octomom's stomach is horrifying.
    In a twisted way, Britney has done a good job of providing for her kids. High five.

    ReplyDelete
  2. In a very twisted, super irresponsible, wealthy parent way.

    ReplyDelete