Friday, May 24, 2013

My Top Five Drugs of Choice for Rob Ford (Ford: A Sexual Predator?)

I'll admit that I was never a real fan of Rob Ford.  Why?  Well one of the biggest reasons is because I'm from Mississauga and the last time I checked we had Hurricane Hazel running the show (who sends a 92 year old woman to court??).

So when this story about Rob Ford smoking crack cocaine story came out, I put my thinking cap on.  I put my PhD brain to work and thought to myself: "There's no way in hell he smoked crack cocaine.  That's not a White people drug.  Crack is just so Black."


Then it came to me that this story had to be fake.

Then it came to me that maybe he is an addict.

Then it came to me that the "crackstartergate" is a cover-up for what Rob Ford is actually getting high on.

Crystal Meth:


TV has taught me that White people love crystal meth like it's one of those sugar candies you can buy from Black Creek Pioneer Village.

OxyContin:


It's the drug of choice nowadays, ain't it?

Cheese:


White people love cheese.  You could almost say it's an addiction like smoking crack cocaine.  I was once at a Wine & Cheese and overheard people in tweed jackets and birkenstocks say that cheese is a gateway drug to other addictions like golf, camping, skiing, and smoking crack cocaine.

Bacon grease:


Have you seen Rob Ford?  He is the B in a BLT.

Young Black boys:


Am I the only person that finds it a little bit strange that Rob Ford spends a hell of a lot of time with underage/teenage Black boys?  Seriously.  I find that really odd.  We've seen this situation play out at Penn State.  And read this article here.  It'll make you start seeing this Rob Ford story in a very different light.

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