Friday, March 25, 2016

The Inner Dialogue of a Black Millennial Male (BMM)

I've decided to start a new series on my blog. I've lost sight of how much I enjoy the craft of writing and the feedback (both positive and negative - a lot of negative, but it is what it is) that comes with it.

Here goes:

The Inner Dialogue of a Black Millennial Male: Getting Ready for Work (the 9-5 office life)

Sunday night:

Shit man, time to pull out that ironing board and starch and make sure I've got my Monday to Thursday button-ups prim and proper. Did I wear the blue with black one a couple weeks ago? Or was that three weeks ago? I don't want people thinking I recycle outfits. I'll just buy one at lunch on Tuesday. Just can't be too expensive looking.

Monday morning:

Dammit. My double windsor is off and I don't have time to fix it before my meeting. I can't stand when these bosses look at me funny when I'm wearing a tie, look at me funny when I'm not wearing one, or throw out a passive aggressive compliment when it looks "too" nice.

Tuesday:

I've got that big presentation in front of the whole office. Do I take out my diamond studs? Nope, they aren't big and "blingy." How do I wear my dreads? Pull them back in a pony tail? Let them flow freely? Shit. Women say that men are always staring at their breasts in conversations, but 9 times out of 10 folks are staring at my dreads.

Wednesday:

Time to break out that nice new blazer. Or should I? Does it look "too" nice that it looks like I'm trying to make a statement? It's nice, it's work appropriate, so why do I feel like I'm being judged about my paycheque and whether I "fit in" when I wear something that doesn't come from Mark's Work Wearhouse?

Thursday (walking to work):

I really need to stop wearing pants that fit. Folks just always staring at my crotch wondering if the myth is true.

I should just put on a pair of yoga pants like all the other women (and some men).

Friday:

I hate dress-down Fridays. This anxiety builds up in me every facking Friday. Jeans? N'ah, they'll think I'm young. Jordans? N'ah, too Black. Chucks? N'ah, too Millennial. Polo? Never, they're gonna see my tattoos and chains and think that their co-worker is actually a Negro. Monday to Thursday button-up? N'ah, they''ll think I'm not a part of the team.

I'll just call in sick. Again.

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