Wednesday, November 30, 2011

My Barbados Top Ten

Today, November 30th, celebrates 45 years (1966-2011) of Barbadian independence.  So to mark the occasion, here is my Barbados Top Ten.  And as usual, this list should not be taking seriously, nor should it be used as a travel guide.

The Beaches:

Enough said.

Crop Over (the parties in general):

There aren't many places in the world where you can prance around half naked with paint and mud all over you in the middle of the night drinking in public.  Shout out to Trinidad and Brazil.

Obadele Thompson:

Before Usain Bolt, he was the fastest man in world running 9.69 (w).  Then he decided to go off and marry Marion Jones.  Ah well.

The Diaspora:

You can literally find Bajans doing great things all over the world (even had some up in the Northwest Territories).  Whether they were born and raised on the Island; expatriates or sojourners; one, two, or three generations removed; through pride and industry, Bajans and their descendants make their homeland proud.


Whether you like her or not, she is the most famous and most recognizable person to have ever come out of Barbados.  Fullstop.  Period.  Shoot, I was in Mwanza, Tanzania and had people with "what's my name?" ring tones.  She needs to do a concert in East Africa.

Banks, Mount Gay, and Tiger Malt:

Not many places in the world that you could give a 10 year old 10 dollars to buy you a bottle of rum.  Not only will he buy you a bottle of rum, but he can sit there and feel like a big man while he sips on a malt (or drink some of your rum).

Time Keeping:

"What time is it?" 6:30.  "No, I asked, what the time was?"  6:30.  "No, the time?!"  6:30.

If you understood that brief encounter with a tourist and a local, you know Barbados.  If you're a female tourist out at a club and a man asks you the time, bend over and don't look back.

The English Language and Curse Words:

Bajans speak english.  Yes, they do.  But sometimes you just start to wonder:  Wunna.  Broughtupsy.  Bubbi.  Too sweet.  Wukup.  Busylickum.  Guhblinya.  Obeah.  Licks.  Hardears.  Pooch.


Barbados still has one of the highest literacy rates in the world.  Education is no joke.

The Atmosphere:

At the end of the day, Barbados really is Just Beyond Your Imagination.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

I love the CFL

Two old men fighting.  Enough said.

Funniest part is how the laughter changes into gasps of horror.

Monday, November 28, 2011

Bubble Gum Riddim

Riddim of the Day for all those "Bob Marley is Reggae Music" people out there.  And an added shout out to those that think it's inherently all sexist and homophobic music for Black heathens by Black heathens. 

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Kampaign for Kwanzaa

Time to dust off those dashikis, sew up that kente cloth, knit those tams, clean up those shaded thick-rim glasses, and pop in that Coming to America VHS.  Why?  Because Kwanzaa is less than a month away.

After doing complete and thorough research on the holiday using the world's most trusted information source - Wikipedia (next to Fox News and a parrow on Broad Street) - I've decided that Kwanzaa isn't just something that African-Americans should celebrate, but what everyone should.

Here's the breakdown of the Seven Principles of Kwanzaa:

  • Umoja (Unity): To strive for and to maintain unity in the family, community, nation, and race.
  • Kujichagulia (Self-Determination): To define ourselves, name ourselves, create for ourselves, and speak up and stand up for ourselves.
  • Ujima (Collective Work and Responsibility): To build and maintain our community together and make our brothers' and sisters' problems our problems, and to solve them together.
  • Ujamaa (family): The belief in family and general communal understanding.
  • Nia (Purpose): To make our collective vocation the building and developing of our community in order to restore our people to their traditional greatness.
  • Kuumba (Creativity): To do always as much as we can, in the way we can, in order to leave our community more beautiful and beneficial than we inherited it.
  • Imani (Faith): To believe with all our heart in our people, our parents, our teachers, our leaders, and the righteousness and victory of our struggle.
Just like any religion or holiday, I'm not saying to follow Kwanzaa by the book, nor do I believe it should be considered a separate "Black" or African-American event.  I really think if we followed the seven principles (or at least recognized them) over the Christmas season, and applied them to our own personal beliefs, it could go a long way.

Think about it: how many Christians recognize their Christianity by going to Church one night a year and then in that same night lie to their children that a pagan hobo broke in their house and gave them coal cause they were bad?

And for the record for those bad breed children out there, the way the world is going, coal ain't such a bad thing to get from Mr. Santa.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Punch a Dog. Save a Life.

Maybe I don't need to have that conversation with my dog to actually understand what she's thinking.

It's even funnier the second time you watch it.  It's even funnier if you own a dog.

Monday, November 21, 2011

I'm A Belieber

Now sing it to this tune:

I know I've come down real hard on Justin Bieber and his religion - Belieberism - on my blog.  I still think he's a packaged product plucked out of a town only known for their Shakespeare Festival.  A far cry from him living up the swagger lifestyle in the US.

But after hearing about his whole paternity scandal and watching him on the American Music Awards last night, I need to give credit where credit is due.  And I need to pat this boy wonder on his back.

Nope, not for his record sales, or his perfume, or his androgynous get up, or his First Choice haircut, but because this kid has hit a level that he can do no wrong.  Direct comparison?  Chris Brown.

Yes, I've compared him to the infamous made famous, bleach blonde, Michael Jackson wannabe, woman beater, and rising tattooed pop star, Chris Brown.

Think about it, how many regular people can be embroiled in a paternity suit with some random woman accusing you of fathering your mini-me, and you can still take your girlfriend to an awards show in front of millions of people?

Not only is Bieber accused, the man has no problem taking a paternity test to prove his innocence.  Check it ladies: if your man is accused of fathering another woman's baby and he willingly goes in to have a paternity test to prove his innocence, that's his baby.  Even if it's not his baby, he slept with her.  Multiple times.  Insert Maury Povich here.

So every time I think of Mr. Bieber now, I don't think of that young scraggly man-child unable to grow facial hair.  No.  I think of a proud Chris Brown wannabe just waiting for his chance to end up on Maury.  Or marry a Kardashian.  I belieb in him.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Reggae Music Does Not Equal Marijuana or Bob Marley

I post music on here from time to time and listening to a new riddim (rhythm or instrumental beat) today had me thinking about how a lot of people perceive reggae music.

Listen to this first:

For those indie bands out there in garages all over North America, you don't need to get high or turn your goldie locks into dreadlocks.  You don't need to sing about oppression or The Man or gun violence or money (well you can sing about cake soap and bleaching your skin, but you might want to do a little research on that one first a la Vybz Kartel and mental slavery).

Sing about your girlfriend or wife.  Your mother or father.  Make songs about how good you feel about being alive to a nice melody.  Sing about the summer, winter, or the fact that you just got a new pair of shoes.  Make a new Christmas song and dedicate it to that special someone in your life.  Write a tune about your neighbourhood or the kraft dinner you had the night before.  Sing about God, Jesus, Allah, Buddha, or whomever you pray to at night.

Basically I'm saying enjoy the music and don't fit a stereotype of what you think it should be and sound like.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

People I'd like to have dinner with

I guess you could say that this is a quasi follow-up to my "places I'd like to go now that it's cold" posts.  These are just people I find interesting and they could be dead or alive or fictitious for that matter.

Malcolm X
Joseph Stalin
Mike Tyson
Hillary Clinton
Cassius Clay (before he became Muhammad Ali)
A nurse that worked on the Front in WWII
Anne Frank
Christopher Columbus
Colonel Sanders
Napoleon Bonaparte
Toussaint L'Ouverture (Napoleon and Toussaint have to sit next to each other)
Queen Victoria
Denzel Washington
Smurfette (Only female smurf.  I vote for some interesting stories)
Pierre Trudeau
Neil Armstrong
Precious from the movie Precious (I want to know what happens after the movie ends)
Charlie Sheen as Chris Taylor in Platoon
Tiger Woods
A tiger (a real one.  I'd actually like to speak to a dog too.  Not just any dog, but my dog)