Friday, November 30, 2012

Happy Independence Day, Barbados!

This is an excerpt from my dissertation dedicated to Barbadians all over the world on the Island's 46 years of independence.

Under the yoke of slavery, colonial domination, poverty, and racism, the pride and industry of a nation was born.  The epitome of human capitalist greed and disregard for human life – The Transatlantic Slave Trade and the institution of slavery – laid the foundation for the creation of the Black Barbadian.  Europeans perfected a system of ideological genocide; they destroyed the Self, the being, and the existence of the African and created his new being as property.  It was a legalized system needed, not for the survival and welfare of European societies, but to provide a luxury for those ignorant to its origins, and amass wealth for the few, shielded a continent away from the brutality they created.  The Slave Trade was designed to exploit, to profit.  It was not a symbiotic and mutually beneficial working relationship; Africans, now slaves in the Americas, did not enter into a binding employment contract with paid wages and benefits.  Phenotypic terrorists broke, castrated, and raped their bodies, and destroyed their existence.  The institution of slavery was a calculated act of terrorism against humanity and human dignity.  Seventeenth, eighteenth, and early nineteenth century Barbados and the West Indies was not the tourist paradise that it is now, but a theatre of war, where the enemy disguised itself under a cloak of lies, violence, and greed.  Laws were created that allowed human beings to buy and sell other humans as the insidious ideology of race was created to justify the unjustifiable.  To be of a darker skin tone meant enslavement; however, the masters perverted the binary colour stratification once the derivatives of sexual terror compelled them to enslave their own.  Fathers raped mothers, and whipped daughters.  Husbands emasculated, as wives raped and brutalized.  Mothers cried as their sons died slow painful deaths.  Welcome to Barbados.  This is where the story begins.
The loyal sons and daughters of the Rock on the easternmost reaches of the Caribbean Sea fought hard and struggled to sow the seeds that created what Barbados is today.  Industrious perseverance is a true Barbadian characteristic.  Barbadian ancestors survived the Middle Passage; they overcame the brutality of chattel slavery; they recreated and retained their identity in the face of a well-calculated and deliberate ideological genocide; and they carved out a prosperous existence in the face of colonial domination.  In the face of generations of insurmountable odds, Black Barbadians did not suffer defeat, nor did they accept the negative codification of their ideological Blackness.  Black Barbadians pursued excellence and upward mobility as means to overcome the debilitating nature of poverty and the incendiary goals of racial discrimination as slaves, Free Blacks, British colonial subjects, and finally as proud and independent Barbadian citizens.  Hundreds of years of subjugation forged the yeomen characteristics that defined the early twentieth century Barbadian.  Whether coerced or voluntary, hard work lies at the foundation of Barbadian attitudes towards life.   Tens of thousands of Barbadian emigrants have embodied this spirit of dedication to self-improvement, and subsequently the collective uplifting of the Barbadian nation-state and a prosperous Diaspora abroad.  The Barbadian Emigrant Ambassadors – the autonomous Bajan – is at the heart of this study.   This dissertation attempts to capture, as accurately as possible, the spirit of the nurses, the domestics, the teachers, the bus conductors, and all of the young Barbadian emigrant trailblazers.  They left the sunny tropical paradise of Barbados for the cold abyss of the unknown, in search of a better life for themselves, their unborn children, and the Island. 

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Please Donate ASAP: Africa For Norway

I don't usually solicit attention for charities and causes on my blog, but this is one I truly truly truly believe in.  And after having worked for an NGO (in "Africa" to boot), I have serious issues with "charity".

But, please open up your wallets, and most importantly your minds, to Radi-Aid and Africa for Norway.  This is not a joke.  I repeat.  This is not a joke.

I'm trying to get in touch with the organizers so we can have an Africa for Canada - it gets pretty cold here too (and I'm not just talking about the weather).

Check out the site here.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Monday, November 26, 2012

Congrats Argos

Hats off to the Toronto Argonauts in their Grey Cup win last night.  Even though I like Calgary's QB Kevin Glenn and am reluctantly warming up to Chad Kackert (the Argos dropped Cory Boyd for him), I'm happy that the Argos won.  They have a great team and are well-coached.

For Toronto to repeat next year and dominate like Montreal over the next 5+ years, here are a few things they need to do:

They need to re-sign Cory Boyd and/or sign Avon Cobourne.  While Kackert is good, he's not durable and won't last a full 18-game (plus playoffs) CFL season.  Andre Durie is a good slot receiver, so they need a solid veteran - and durable - running back.

Ricky Ray is the man at QB, but just like how Montreal is going to fall to the pits of nothingness once Calvillo retires and they put in McPherson (they'll probably sign another QB anyway, same way that Toronto was grooming Michael Bishop for an eternity and he never was the next best thing), Toronto needs a young Travis Lulay-esque backup.  

And finally, they need to get out of those ugly ass portables that have been stinking up UTM's campus forever.  Either build something permanent or move out so UTM can put another big old building on their practice field.

Friday, November 23, 2012

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Taylor Swift is a Fraud

***Foul Language and Rant Alert***

I'm no rocket scientist, but after watching some of the AMAs this past weekend, I've realized that Kanye West was right; Taylor Swift is a huge fraud.  She's that girl your mother warns you about.

Common folks, are you really buying this "I'm too cute for life" bullshit?  My girl is a ho.  A straight late 1990s video ho from BET's Uncut.  The kind of skeezer that would cheat on you with your father.  And grandfather. 

Shit, my girl has a wiki specifically listing off all her boyfriends.  Man, she's dated a gay dude - Jake Gyllenhaal, a racist and herpes carrier - John Mayer (who also dated Jennifer Aniston, Jessica Simpson, Jennifer Love Hewitt, and Cameron Diaz - manwhore, anyone?), a pre-pubescent wolfboy - Taylor Lautner, a Jonas brother, and finally showed her true Marilyn Monroe homewrecker-self and dated a Kennedy.

She's 22 and she's racked up a list of exes that Britney "legs like a porch door" Spears would be proud of.  I lie, I put her in Kim Kardashian territory.  But at least Kim marries her men.

My issue is is that all her material comes from these breakups.  All of it.  All her hit songs.  So either she's a ho, or a fraud.  You pick your poison, Miss Swift.

I say Taylor steps up to the plate and starts dating some real men and see what kind of songs she writes.

Here are some title tracks for her new loves:

Rick Ross:  "Baby, I'm Lost (in your bellybutton) Without You"

Brad Pitt:  "I Hope Angie Doesn't Find Out"

Tim Tebow:  "I Took Yours Like Mayer Took Mine"

Eddie Murphy:  "Rob This Cradle"

Rihanna:  "Love is Colour-Blind"

(Rihanna ain't a man, but hey, Taylor Swift is probably a lesbian.  Why?  Romney says so.)

And after doing some investigative work, I found the real lyrics to her song, "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together".

Here it is:

I remember when I dumped you the first time
Saying this is it, I wrote my song, 'cause like
That I've been working on for a month
When I, said I, was just using you, what?
Then you come around again and say
Baby, I miss you and I swear I'm gonna change
Trust me, I'm just trying to win another Grammy some day
I say, I hate you, we break up, you call me, I hang up

Oooh my publicist called it off again last night
But Oooh, this time I'm telling you, I'm telling you
I never ever ever liked you to being with
I only only only wanted to make you look stupid
You go talk to TMZ talk
To Oprah talk to me
You will never ever ever win this, cause I'm Taylor Swift

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Fitness Isn't Gender Specific

Don't mind the caption, just watch the video.  Male or female, I know I'm impressed.

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Saturday, November 10, 2012

One of Rihanna's Best Videos Yet - Diamonds

She's not naked, not doing drugs, not dry humping Chris Brown lookalikes or tanks, so I say this one is a winner.

I gotta give a shout out to Barbados.  A country of 300,000 people on a 166 square mile rock.

Friday, November 9, 2012

True Toronto Stories: Bedroom Bully

From time to time people tell me some pretty funny stories of real life encounters they've had just being normal people seeing abnormal things.  This story, told in her own words, is too funny to be true.


So I'm sitting on the subway at Dundas stop, minding my own business. Having stayed up super late the night before watching the election, I was exhausted and ready to get home. As the doors were closing and we were ready to depart for the next stop, a man  (let's call him….idiot) sprints down the platform, with two other men chasing him and yelling at him. Obviously I'm like 'WTF is going on?' And what was perplexing is that I was sitting in the very first car…so the only place idiot had to run was onto the tracks. Well thats exactly what this idiot decides to do! The first guy who was chasing him starts yelling 'NO! STOP! DON'T GO THERE!' So then I was like 'Uh oh! What if this guy is trying to commit suicide!' It was starting to get scary. But no, thats not what he was doing. Idiot was running away cause he stole something. Well…tried to steal something. You see the two guys were able to retrieve the merchandise before he got away with it, but no such luck catching the idiot. He just jumped onto the tracks and started running. Who knows where to, probably the next subway stop. The subway got shut down. They turned off all the power, and the police showed up. But from what I gathered, the guy got away. After 15-20 minutes or so, the subway was up and running again.

But here's the best part! What was idiot trying to steal? A duvet and some bed sheets! Yup. A high speed chase, TTC in disarray, me missing my train and bus home…..all for a duvet and some bed sheets.

So moral of the story. Hide your duvet, hide your bed sheets, heck hide your pillows. Cause looks like some idiot is out there looking for the whole bedroom set.

The End.
A TTC maintenance worker found the "idiot"'s iPod, turned it on and found out he was listening to this:

Shabba Ranks is now wanted for questioning as a possible accomplice in the robbery.

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Ke$sha - Die Young

I kinda thought her career was already dead, but hey, the gold tooth saved it.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Message For White Voters

I'm sorry I didn't find this video earlier.  Just the other day I was saying the same thing about Obama's dog.

All jokes aside, race and US politics is no laughing matter.  Obama took 93% of the Black vote, 71% of Hispanics and 73% of Asians (I didn't even know Psy, Shahrukh Kahn, and Kim Jong-un could vote in US elections).  While Romney took 59% of the White vote, which accounts for 72% of all US voters.

I'm no rocket scientist, but maybe, just maaaaaayybbeee the Republican Party should go back to their mid 19th century roots where it abolished slavery, supported Reconstruction, and pretty well was the "Black man's" party up until the Depression.

It's pretty well the same way people don't realize that it was the Conservative Party that de-racialized Canadian immigration in 1962, while the Liberals rode their coattails in 1967 with the Points System.

The ideologies of political parties and allegiance change, folks.  Just ask Ontario teachers, McGuinty, and the Liberal Party.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Post-Election 2012: What to Expect Tomorrow Morning

...the same damn thing you expected this morning.  Especially if you're Canadian.

If you've been living in the "free" world (how is it free when I gotta pay for everything?), you'll know that tomorrow will be exactly the same as today.  Listen folks, this ain't 1930s Germany.  When I wake up tomorrow, no one is gonna party like it's 2008 or pin a blackened star on my chest.  My landlord ain't gonna congratulate me on having my very own Black president (I was living in London, Ontario in 2008, so you do the math there).

Whether Obama or Romney win tomorrow, here are a few things that won't change:

- Obama will still be a Black Kenyan Muslim
- Romney will still be Ronald Reagan, 2012, and have perfect White man Just-For-Men hair
- The rich will continue to get richer (that's the basis of a liberal democratic capitalist society, folks.  Change the system, not the people who run it if you want real change.)
- China is still gonna make cheap shit
- The NHL will still be on a lockout
- Women will still make less money than men
- First Nations across North America will still be the true forgotten "other"
- Ontario still won't have a leader
- Justin will still be working on plans to renovate his old bedroom in Ottawa
- Haiti will still be struggling to recover
- Gas is still gonna cost more than a dollar a litre
- Smoking will still kill you
- Drinking and driving will still kill you (and others)
- Dalton McGuinty and Judas Broten will continue their illicit affair
- McGuinty's wife still won't say a damn thing in public

And finally:

The Middle Class will not rise up out of suburbia and take over the world one mini-van and big box store at a time.

Monday, November 5, 2012

Romney and Obama on Canada

...that's all I've got.  Watched the whole "foreign policy" debate and the only sense I got was that Romney wants the US to be "North American" energy dependent. 

Question:  Do you think Canada would elect a Black Prime Minister (well would a political party select a Black person as their leader is the technical question)?  Seeing from all the love Lincoln Alexander got, that seems like a no-brainer, so why hasn't it happened? 

Let's see if Ontario will accept an openly gay Premier first.

In other news, I think this should have been Obama's campaign theme song:

Friday, November 2, 2012

McGuinty: I wonder if he wants to reinvent the wheel next

How about we get kids to learn how to string a coherent sentence together first.  Just because you can create something, doesn't mean it's gooder.


“Without being too academic, we’re going to move beyond the ingestion of knowledge to the construction of knowledge. What does that mean? We’re going to introduce into the curriculum more of the kinds of things that foster creativity, innovation, and collaboration,”

That sounds pretty academic to me.